I've been having a hard time coming up with posts lately. I just looked at the last one and it's been over a month! Yikes! Not the way I prefer to handle things.
In pondering why this might be the case, I discovered that I kinda dropped out of my life.
Yes, I've been revamping the business and the website, and yes, it's been unexpectedly on-hold for about a month. Branding complications. Ugh!
And it's also true that I've been studying and taking classes like mad; the last two months have felt like constant mid-terms, and the feeling is going to probably last for a while. I'm devouring new knowledge that I hope to bring to the table soon. Fun, but consuming.
And yes, I've been working hard on purging my heart's basement. Clearing brush. Digging for diamonds in what feels like miles of rubble, and that has been no mean task, I assure you.
And then my husband got sick for, like, a month and with him down-for-the-count with no real energy to spare for me. Plus, it was playoffs; I had the final excuse to go on absolute check-out. No connection anywhere.
I dropped out of my life.
I told myself I had too much to do to focus on writing - to focus on much of anything besides focusing. I focused so hard I pretty much didn't know what day it was.
And here's what I'm noticing: I give myself these deadlines. I get hooked into some astrological shift I've read about and decide that EVERYTHING has to be done by June 4th or whatever because that's when I lose all this Jupiter action, etc, etc.
Um, what?
What clued me in finally, was that I was doing all this hard work and learning and experimenting and Writing Copy and Landing Pages and all the businessy-business stuff. And doing the therapy stuff and going in brand new, uncharted circles around my health. And learning new skills and trying to hone them at the same time as I was trying to market them.
And if all this is so cool, then where exactly do I show up in all of it?
I felt like the scene in Labyrinth where the trash lady is heaping all of Sarah's toys on her, reminding her of all the trappings of her fantasy world, but she is suddenly shaken out of her trance by a real urgency about the work she's been called to do - to save her baby brother from the clutches of the Goblin King.
I had forgotten all about David Bowie in the Tina Turner wig and drag-queen makeup up in the castle on the hill and had to get buried in stuffed unicorns and snow globes before I woke up and smelled the Bog of Eternal Stench...
I apologize sincerely to those of you who haven't seen the film.
Suffice it to say, I was distracted by my own brain. It happens sometimes.
Does this happen to you? When you get so wrapped up in being wrapped up that you get caught talking to yourself in fake conversations in the kitchen by a four-year-old looking for milk, when you thought the kids were still watching TV?
You forget to watch the last minute of playoffs because you're searching for just the right font for the new logo?
Spend so much time wondering what your triggers are about eating foods you're allergic to all the time that you forget to clean the catbox for, like, four days?
You get the picture, anyway. And I hope I'm not totally alone. If I am, let this be a cautionary tale...
This weekend was gorgeous. The husband was feeling much better. I snapped out of it. He mowed the lawn and then I went out with my hula-hoop while he weeded (didn't even feel guilty about that) and got scrappy. Did some stuff. Listened to my husband play some music with some friends at an outdoor party. Opened the windows!
Good grief. I've got to get over myself and start living again! It's way better than what goes on in my freaking head!
So anyway, that's where I've been. I've been here, in my mind all along.
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To learn more about Darcy Molloy, visit www.namahahealingarts.com.
