Time and Breath

For the past few weeks I've become more and more frustrated with not being able to get anything done. I feel like it takes me half the day just to get up and through breakfast, and then if I respond to two or three emails it's time to run errands. By the time I get back from that I'm answering responses to the morning's emails, then sorting the mail. At which point it's time to make food again (a lengthy process for me) and then time to pick up a couple piles of accumulated detritus, then the husband's home. Heaven forfend I should have a client or a chiropractic appointment or a tea-date!

What happened?

Sometimes I think I've lost my focus entirely, and I'm sure that I've at least lost it partially. Other times I think I'm trying to do too much. In the last week or so I've become suspicious that that whole "time-acceleration" thing They talk about is really real and really happening.

Of course, They also say that really we're starting to lose our need for and awareness of linear time - a sort of balancing act between the measure of day-to-day time and the experience of the infinite, which is the "real" way the cosmos works.

Usually I tend agree with the latter, but that's beside the point. Whether time's speeding up or not, where does it leave us? How do we get through even one item on the to-do list that's outside of the routine if the 24-hour day is going through an inflation of 75%? I can't even get the dishes washed up after a meal. My calendar is exploding.

I've also noticed that I haven't been breathing very much or very deeply when worrying about getting it all done. Or at all. I'm holding my breath all the time. I'm saying a blessing over a meal, and waiting to breathe until I'm done! How does THAT work?

So I did an experiment, and made an effort to practice what I preach and breathe with intention. A lot. All the time.

Suddenly it's become easier to hear the inner voice that comes from my heart and belly. Which mostly says "breathe," of course. (For an involuntary process, I'm always startled by how little I seem to be doing it.) The more I follow this instruction, the more the next instruction is something productive, like, "Now! Go do the weeding! Now!" Or "writing, not marketing," or "this is a perfect time to catch a few minutes of hooping!" Or "sit down for 5 minutes and reset." It's amazing how much actually gets done when I'm breathing and listening to myself.

So I breathe and breathe and listen and somehow I've found the time to write this blog. And work on the site and the workshops. And do my exercise routine. And clean the catbox. And run some errands. And fix two meals for myself. And meditate. And answer several emails. Shoot! There's still time to work on the class outline, fold the laundry and pick up the rest of the house. If that's what comes up next, anyway. I'm listening to see what will be next, but I'm okay just breathing for now.

This is a dare. Try breathing.