Roads Taken and Not

Some of you who read this (I actually do think there are more than 5 people, despite what Blogger indicates) might have noticed the lack of circles, classes and events Namaha's been hosting lately. I've had a sparsely attended Oneness Blessing circle at my office (a line, really. Me, point A, and one other, point B) and not much else. Now, if you've just read the mid-December newsletter or checked out the Facebook page you'll notice I'm suddenly cannonballing right back into the middle of the pool at a new venue with new offerings and new prospects, and all sorts of balls to juggle.

Why the ebb and flow, you ask? Why this grand lull in the action?

Too many ideas. Too many good, great, exciting, heart-centered, life-affirming CHOICES.

Does this happen to you?

For me there's a balance of expectation and realization. I'll take out the Roadmap of My Life and point to where I expect to be by X date. It's a fantastic place. A place I know I can get to. A place that is utterly affirming of all my gifts and skills and desires. A place that will prove I've been on the right track the whole time. Yep. That's where I'm a-goin'.

More often than not, the point on the map is so far from where I am, the roads to it seem almost limitless. I can take the 26W to the 101, or I can take 30 and cross the bridge to 14 and take a more scenic route. Or, of course, I could just take the direct-not-so-pretty route and take I-5 most of the way then drop down by the river...I could start another Reiki Circle, but which night of the month, and how many days each month? Should I work it so this client can come or that one? Should I teach workshops in places I've already worked, or should I branch out and try something new? Do I want to work out of my home or keep my office? Should I scrap the whole practice and just work on the book?

Which path is the right one?

Often it feels like I have to choose exactly the right thing, or nothing will work out. If I concentrate on this then I feel like a fraud here. If I schedule that and I'm not a complete expert on the subject then will I have anything to say?

I try to think about what route I do like to take to the coast. I almost always choose the most scenic, even if it takes a bit longer. And I don't mind if I pull off the road at a viewpoint and get distracted by a herd of Elk. Or if I get lost in the small town looking for a restroom at the halfway point. I don't even mind that I've forgotten the keys to the condo and we have to harrass all the neighbors trying to get in.

So why is it any different choosing my course in life? If I've set my sites on a destination, and I know pretty surely that I'm going to get there, then the route ought to be the most fun one, right?

Here's the thing. In the Indian energy anatomy there are two currents of energy running through the body (well, according to this map there are more like 72,000, but we'll just focus on these two.), one that goes up and out, merging with everything. The current of "enlightening" that connects us to All There Is. This is the Liberating Current, and it's what transcendental meditators seek to achieve. This freedom from all things physical. Which is one way. The other comes down from the heavens into us. It is what creates the universe. It is what turns thought to things. It is the direction of creation, called the Manifesting Current. While the Liberating Current brings us freedom, the Manifesting Current brings us - you guessed it - limitation. We have to exclude in order to create. We have the imagination to create the thought, and when we feed energy to that thought we create. We choose one thing at a time to bring into being.

Sometimes I feel too good rolling around in the vast field of unlimited possibility. I get very comfortable there. I get a little cocksure and snooty with the creativity that oozes from my inspired mind and I don't want to leave it's vision of sugar plums AND chocolate cake AND ice cream AND pumkin scones...okay so I'm hungry, but you see my point.

I've had to come to terms with this process for what it is. You have to pick one thing at a time. You have to cause something for it to have an effect. This doesn't mean that there isn't room for all of it to come about, but you can't put three feet forward at once. And by "you" I mean "I."

I'd say "just listen to your heart," but my heart gets overly enthusiastic too. "Yes! Absolutely! Oh wait! No! You should do that instead. Ooooh, that would be cool! Hey, aren't you doing the first thing? Can we go over there?" My heart is like a Labrador puppy at the beach sometimes. It's ALL good.

And I have to promise myself that it IS all good.

Because next time I'm revisiting this part of the map I might be on a motorcycle or have a flying car, and the trip will be different, but I can still go back and retrace my steps. I can pick a different route if I want to go to the same place. The road doesn't necessarily vanish just because you don't take it.

Trust, faith, not taking myself too seriously.

Okay, I think I got it.

Check out the site for all the new stuff.